This Saturday the Developer-anointed, preordained, “Royal Couples” of The Woodlands ask all Woodlands residents to attend their royal coronation.

In order to attend the coronation, residents, without exception, are required to leave their common sense, integrity and grey matter at home.

Those residents who wish to challenge the legitimacy or ascension of the royal couples, do so at their own peril.

Males attending the coronation will be given a free Hooters coupon.*

Females attending the coronation will receive one free sample packet of Skin So Soft.*

Multiple coronation events will take place simultaneously at the following locations. (Coronation Locations)

Click here (Royal Couples & Court Jester) and Here (Royal Couple) for pictures of the coronation.

* free gifts funded by residents of The Woodlands