Fort Worth, Texas is currently looking for a new fire chief.

As a service to our community and to the community of Fort Worth, TX, I would like to take some valuable space on The Woodlands Monitor web-site to put forth a candidate for the next fire chief of Fort Worth, TX.

The next fire chief of Fort Worth, TX should be Mr. Alan Burnett Benson Jr. The city is accepting applications until December 22, 2006 so there is plenty of time for Mr. Alan Burnett Benson Jr. to prepare his resume. Actually, as a volunteer effort for the community, I will post a fairly recent resume.

I am quite sure that Mr. Alan Burnett Benson Jr. will more than meet all the qualifications and requirements for this position.

Someone, however, will need to update his resume a bit with the following additional experience.

• Served as co-general manager of The Woodlands, TX
• Enacted clown education program
• Completed additional sexual harassment training
• Published article about hurricane safety
• Attempted to rename the Emergency Operations Center (EOC) to the Multi-Agency Communications Center (MACC)
• ‘Wrote’ The Philosophy Statement of The Woodlands Fire Department

I would also recommend that Mr. Alan Burnett Benson Jr. use the same cover letter he always uses for new job applications. It seems to have worked well in the past. Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke.

Additionally, make sure to not remove the part in your resume under Awards and Honors about being Oklahoma City News Media Man About Town 1985(aka Tom Cat Award?).

Also, I would imagine that the Fort Worth city council will give you golfing privileges at the resident’s expense, just as our boards have done for you. I am also confident that Fort Worth, just like The Woodlands, will not perform a thorough background check, so no worries in that regard.

From a personal standpoint, Mr. Alan Burnett Benson Jr. would probably prefer the following that Fort Worth may or may not offer:

• Larger City
• Better looking woman
• Closer to home (Oklahoma)
• Less Press scrutiny

If any additional cities other than Fort Worth are looking for a new fire chief, I am sure that Mr. Alan Burnett Benson Jr. would not mind receiving an email with information about any position that is available.